The most obvious natural context is the household meal. No one can do it for us, no one can replace us. The basic contexts for us fathers really to connect with our children remain in reach if we are savvy and intentional in actualizing them. Here is where the possibilities are truly exciting. Rather, it will ask how to make the most of our situation, mitigating negative factors to the extent possible, and especially focusing on positive things that remain in our power. When we consider further endemic factors that heighten our children’s need for us while simultaneously isolating them (think, e.g., social media-even for those not ‘on it’!), there is no surprise that our children face a crisis.Ī practical approach will not pretend that these challenges can be ignored or eliminated. These are not challenges unique to you or me they are endemic to our age. And various common aspects of our contemporary context are serious complicating factors: such as, separation of our profession from homelife, and the unnatural segmentation of life into too many areas demanding attention, to name just two. What can I do to improve-this is the question. While blame, regret and guilt are not the answer, neither is an implicit acceptance with a shrug of the shoulders. Many of us know this from both sides of the situation. The fact is that even conscientious fathers find it difficult to make the time and the contexts for a rich relationship with their children. No pointing fingers, blame game, or self-flagellation. I wonder how many children-and let’s talk about households with the father in it -have the kind of time and relationship with their father that they really need. “When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”Ĭat’s in the Cradle, song by Harry Chapin
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